Monday, October 10, 2011

Empire City

It’s easy to die in New York City

when the wind is gentle and the sky is pretty,

the sun is setting over the water and into

New Jersey

leaving the breeze off the Hudson River

cooler;

hardening the nipples

behind all that silk

and cotton,

causing the vestigial goosebumps to pop and

the hair to stand on end;

the shivers,

the quivers

and the getting closer.

What style, what grace, what voice and what taste!

The liquor slithers down the tunnel in search of

evaporation

and the body awaits its filter.

It’s easy to have your eyes blinded

by the flashing lights;

the big city lights,

the billboard lights;

wishing your name in lights;

the heights of the buildings and

the depths of the underground

that supports this city

and its foundation:

overwhelming your sense of scale.

It’s easy to die in New York City

with your eyes on your texting

and your ears full of headphone; a face

full of grill and the end of your

life when your skull slams against

the asphalt. All of your knowledge

in blood and gravel soup leaking

out and down into sewers.

You can assist the music or stay silent.

It’s easy to give your heart away in New York City

to the leggy dames expert at fashion games

that smell of flowers and animal sweat

sweetbreads, lilacs and chardonnay

who walk hurriedly between destinations aware

of the stares and the desperate sexual lust of

the sailors, laborers and tailors; the waiters, haters

and players hustling along the Avenue.

It’s easy to have your kidneys and liver smashed with

the incessant partying and all night shifts, silent winks

and get my drifts, toilet bowl privacy and more damage

to the soul. It’s easy to celebrate an early death with a

full life, to fix a deviated septum, to put your name on

a list for a transplant, to tip the doctor a hundred dollars

to prescribe you Percocet.

It’s easy to die in New York

with the pork fat on the plate

and the arteries hardening,

the vintage vino vilifying

your bloodstream and

congealing your senses

ah the Dionysian mythos!

the cupidus pathos!

lecherous and lustful

with a pocketful of

hard-on and follicle fire

fingernail sensitivity

anxious and ready to die…

It’s easy to lose yourself

when you are surrounded by so many people.

Where is everyone going?

Do I need an invitation?

Is it easy to get in?

How much am I worth in good looks

in this gluttonously cannibalistic ouroboros town?

It’s easy to fill your lungs with the

poisonous perfume of the traffic jams

and vehicles with reason;

to inhale the carbon monoxide exhaust

of the enormous garbage collecting dinosaurs;

to suck in the grease and tobacco release

from the sidewalk exhale.

It’s easy to see without looking to far that not much is really sacred” sang Robert Zimmerman and that sinful man sure could sing the gospel. It’s easy to quote, to rip off, to cut and paste, to steal and plagiarize, to sample, to write off, to critique, to put a price on your worth, to go gold, to win the Pulitzer, to become enlightened.

It’s easy to die in New York City

where pity is one county over and

the homeless get stepped over in

colder weather like Hugo Alfredo

who saved a woman from the blade

that entered him. He collapsed in

Queens this past April.

Twenty Five people walked over him,

some stopped to stare. Not one person

reported the condition of the man.

The gawking rubberneckers

are all on surveillance tape.

It’s easy to make your mark

in the city

if you’re cute,

if you’re witty,

if you’re smart,

if you’re pretty,

if you can flash in the pan with everyone looking,

if you can withstand the flashes

and the constant demand,

if you love yourself as much as the rest of us will,

if you have a will fortified with ego and desire,

if you can handle the fire,

if you can handle the snow,

if you can take the eating and being spit out,

if you can maintain your clout,

if you can build a reputation of silk and iron.

It’s easy to feed your cherry libido

with the sweat from the loose girls

and loose boys and free toys and the

spoils of war,

behind velvet curtain drapes,

under tables, in the men’s room,

in the ladies room,

in full bloom with the eggs

and the seeds hot for the eruption…

It’s easy to get fat from the consumption

with the greasy meats and rich sauces,

the free booze and the lost causes,

the chocolate lava desserts and

peanutbutter pretzel icecream

It’s easy to die in New York

without a care in the world,

not a song in your head,

not a dollar to your name,

not a single imprint on the fabric of society;

while pigeons cluster around whisky/pizza vomit

get a little tipsy themselves, and flutter

happily to the less chilly now rooftops.

It’s easy to die in New York City

when the heat goes off,

the power goes out,

during a blackout

when the temperatures are over

one hundred Fahrenheit and the

elevator doesn’t work;

so Grandmother can’t get outside

before she cooks to death.

It’s easy to get it twisted.

It’s easy to flip the fuck out.

It’s easy to disrespect the first hundred

out of two hundred people you meet on

the sidewalk because who the fuck are they,

besides in my way? It’s easy to sway and

bounce and strut and pounce and behave

like an animal because after all

it’s like a jungle sometimes

huh-huh-huh-HUnh

It’s easy to fly off the handle

when you never had a grip

easy to let the words slip

when you are exhausted from restraining

what you believe to be the truth

It’s easy to hijack a major jet airliner full of passengers

and steer it into the city’s tallest buildings

incinerating yourself and any evidence to the contrary.

It’s easy to fly those same jumbo jet airliners by remote control

from some undisclosed location and

convince certain military intelligence

that the evil they perform is patriotic and for the good

of the country.

It’s easy to go on a shopping spree less the terrorists win

to spend a third of your check on frivolous shit that you don’t need

like cashmere socks and hydroponic weed.

easy does it

nice and easy

you tell yourself

It’s easy to just relax and let them give it to you

easy to overlook the closeness

you have with other people when

you are so absorbed in your own parade

It’s easy to bang the walls

holding onto the bed with a suicide grip that

refuses to let go and

a face full of tears

screaming at the neighbors

to turn down the music because all you

need is a little silence in this city that never

sleeps and no one ever hears a peep out of you

in this city that doesn’t recognize your special place

in the universe

which is right where you are

How can you ever deny that?

It’s easy to die in New York

with a twinkle twinkle little star

going down on your sex

with a famous mouth

and infected sore.

It’s easy to see the score as soon as the first play is called

It’s easy to be balled by an anonymous source

urgent and noisy horny

for any way to make it

It’s easy to die in New York City

with a girlfriend coke-fiend and a

boyfriend junkie both sure to self- destruct

but somehow outdoing you with their thin and dark

photogenic moneypot

“What are you going to do now?”

the last thing you hear from either

one while they make it rich and

exclusive

It’s easy to see it happen too fast here

It’s easy to say goodbye in New York

to transient lovers flying back to Mexico

L.A.

the Gobi Desert

hopping off the island in pursuit of their

landscape dreams that involve wavy

colorful suns and silent starscapes

It’s easy to unlock the demons

from the secret box

with the special key

you got from your mother

when the angels are rap-tap-tapping

on your chamber door

begging for you to share

your gift and come play

with them

Weary watery waves of passionate bliss

just being alive

It’s easy to walk the razor’s edge

between mystical and hysterical

to dance parallel to the ground and

walk on air

when you’re in love with a sexual partner

in a beautiful universe and the pistons are

firing and the gears are grinding and the

kiss is often and the electric chemicals

are rushing from your core to your

pleasure principal and the goal has

been scored

the game has been won

and the crowd has gone wild

It’s easy to get lost in the crowd

to skirt the FBI or the NYPD

if you are a small time hood

snatching old ladies’ purses

weaving through pedestrians

with young brother ease and

flee the scene instincts

down the stairs in a jump

and over the turnstile with a jump

and jump on a train

It’s easy to get to know the trains in New York City

which trains connect which neighborhoods to which

easy to switch trains at the proper terminals and get from

any point A to any other point B in minutes

unless you’re going to Queens

It’s easy to have borough pride in New York City

if you’re BK let me here you say BK!’ screams the MC

and you bet the thundercats from Brooklyn scream the loudest

and the Manhattanites don’t go out anymore

because either all of their money goes to rent

or they have moved to Brooklyn and scream loud

when the MC says ‘let me here you say BK!

It’s easy to be whatever you want to be

in your imaginary world

while the eviction notice gets tacked on your door

and the jobs stop coming

and who the hell wants to buy your art?

and why the hell aren’t you sleeping with the curators

and dealers and the movers and the shakers?

It’s easy to die in New York

with your art on the wall and

the landlord down the hall

screaming for the rent

threatening to take legal action

a pack of wolves in your mind

tearing at the cerebellum;

snarling,

darling;

a loving testament to the death that waits

knocking on the pearly gates with iron fists

wrapped in kid gloves

It’s easy to die in New York

the cork torn from the bottle with a pocket knife

bloody fingers cracked and swollen knuckles

large laborer’s hands meant for gripping

and moving

strong and durable

would rather break a finger than drop the ball

rather snake a toilet than be too good not to do it

rather lick the ass than never get in there at all

easy to fall prey to the luscious talons

of the swooping predator

Age

letting the life force rip you to shreds

to feed its angry offspring

Time

which will grow strong from you

and feed from your own offspring

a lovely vicious cycle

that keeps us up in the sky

believe it or not

utopia is rot.

It’s easy to die in New York

when you make yourself center of attention

and can’t deliver the bomb

when you paint the bullseye on your forehead

and dodge all of the bullets and arrows

when you whistle to sparrows

and capture them in nets

burn their eyes and

jail them in cages for song

when you focus your rages on war

and your outrageous on comedy

when it’s all about “me”

and a global narcissism

threatens to eliminate

the individual’s importance.

It’s easy to preach

It’s easy to see in the dark and around corners,

into the future and accurately

about your own behavior

in the past

It’s easy to put a good light on your dark shadows

to smudge away your previous imperfections

with cinema make up and movie magic

easy to fill in the blank if no one saw you do it

get away with murder

actually kill a person and walk away

It’s easy to forget that you belong

to the kingdom of wild animal

It’s easy to ferment in the big apple

to turn sour

cider

alcoholic

bitter

delicious and

intoxicating

infested with worms

but healthier than most

to drop from the tree unpicked

firm and bouncing on the springy leaves

to roll down the hill and despite all clichés

fall

far

from

the tree

It’s easy to die in New York with your hand on your heart

and a prayer for tomorrow – the red meat and cigarettes

finally getting to you – all of those hours spent

inactive – static in the pulse – furniture in the dance

It’s easy to get lost in the fog and lights

when the room is spinning and the music is rocking

sometimes letting the good times roll too easy

and bowl right over you.

It’s easy to get elected in the big apple

to run for mayor or congressperson and

serve the people

herd the sheep

reap the benefits of life in public office

with lobbyists and bankers

taking you to lunch and dinner

tickets to the show

and an inside line of the best trades

money

money

money it’s easy to make a million dollars in the city

to abuse the seat you serve

to shove a cigar into a vagina; a fuck for now

and a smoke for later

one giant hard-on for attention: politician

one slippery eel in a bucketful of snot

It’s easy to grind the pavement

with skateboard wheels

really carve out a wave

jetting down Amsterdam Avenue

without pads, without helmet

two sleeves of tattoos and a lip ring

hair slick from its own oils and

a wool knit cap in August

wallet on a chain into your pocket,

keys hooked on your belt loop and

jangling,

canvas sneakers – such an all star

It’s easy to be an all star

to be elected by your peers

as one of the best at what you do

easy to drive the lane

juke the center

split the guards

leap over the forwards and dunk the leather gourd

it’s easy to dodge the linebackers

outrun the defensive ends

knock the safeties on their ass

and

celebrate a touchdown in the endzone

It’s easy to hit a fastball four hundred feet

over the centerfield wall when you are down three runs

and the bases are loaded in the bottom of the ninth

with a full count and thirty thousand flashbulbs

glittering all around you famously

It’s easy to score a hit record in the city

with a four/four beat

jazzed up with some basic tremolos from the cellos

and some funky bass lines

some generic rhymes

repeated as a chorus

cliché! cliché!

Nothing to say

hallmark drivel

yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Unh~! Unh! Yeah!

saying your name

territorial pissing or

screaming at the top of your lungs

that you love me

It’s easy to hide your gender in New York City

to look pretty for the other participants in the crying game

to pluck and shave

nip and tuck

paint and spray, to

dress and whisper

easy to bat those wonderful lashes and lick

your glossy lips to find someone to light your cigarette

and share your mouth

It’s easy to have a disease put in your body

by a beauty with no signs

of the infection on their perfect sweet bodies

secretly

dangerously

blisteringly really

It’s easy to make mistakes that last lifetimes

to set off the alarms

to forget the sunscreen

to ignore the gypsy lady who smells the sulfur on your breath

and sees the fire in your eyes

It’s easy to get the lead role

to audition for the big part and

score a Tony nod for your performance

riveting

gripping

a rare find

a sensation!

The adjectives and accolades are as endless as your professional horizon

It’s easy to lose your mind in New York City

to just snap

the fragile grasp of reality lubricated once too often

the hold gone

the fall complete

the fracture irreparable

screaming and hollering

to the ghosts that haunt you

pulling out what remains of your hair

kicking the trash can into the street

tossing your briefcase up into the air

the contents raining down

damning your god and your cheating wife

unable to manage

one more minute of the mayhem

that is your existence

the circus in your mind

the wild animal hysteria of your weakness

preferring pajamas, pudding and television

to anymore responsibility

shutting down in front of the psychologists

a resilient case

one that never wants to get solved

easy to die under constant care in New York City.

It’s easy to humpty dumpty

to crack your skull

on the concrete

and let all of the yoke out

face blank with egg white

and no more able to communicate,

feel or

breathe

It’s easy to compare yourself to others

and find the fault in many.

It’s easy to judge the frightened proud.

It’s easy to scan a crowd and tell who’s who

by the strut in their get up

and the look on their face

acting

it’s easy to just be acting in New York City

millions of people after the same food and sex as you

in hurry up mode

It’s easy to cheat

to best your competitor unfairly

card tricks

parlor tricks

souped-up engines that go against regulations

performance enhancing drugs for you and your horse

easy to take a dive in the ring for the big pay out

the one ghost punch to ruin your reputation

and pay for your mansion

wedding and retirement

easy to steal Michelin awarded recipes

and open your own restaurant

It’s easy to understand anthropologically

the reasons for such tribal behavior

among fellow primates

mouth agape

mind blank

feeding the demon want…

God is urge…

It’s easy to sing a song of yourself and address

the common man with your wit and lyricism

your confidence and solipsism

never endearing him to the light inside of you

but opening a door and hoping he isn’t afraid to enter.

It’s easy to donate sperm to the seed factory and

reproduce randomly

spreading your germs

like an intelligent and willful animal

like a sneaky wasp in a horny hornet’s nest

It’s easy to soak up other people’s mess

to step in pee or poo

or over the unconscious clump

soaked and stained with pee and poo

stinky reality of human grossness

It’s easy to mix metaphors like pills with booze and

lose yourself to the singular pulse

to vibrate endlessly aiming towards goal and no

connection to the millions around you

It’s easy to die in the city while still young and clever

Especially when you want to live here forever.

It’s easy to die in New York City

when you want to live here forever.